I know I’m not one to be “in the know” about the latest fashion trends. Hell, I still wear things from freshman year of college sometimes. However, I do know right from wrong, and these trends are just…no. And I know other women will agree with me here.
Since I’m tapering for the Georgia Jewel 50 this Saturday and am particularly irritable, let’s have a bit of a bitch-fest about weird fashion trends:
Armpit hair—Here’s a real head-scratcher. I get that “crunchy” is in. Reese Witherspoon didn’t shave in Wild, and neither do I when I’m backpacking. But not shaving as an everyday conscious decision? Mm nope. To me this screams more “Trend!” than “Fuck you, boys!” But if you really are adopting the au naturel look, do you not shave your legs and pubes, cut your hair, or brush your teeth? Where’s the line?
Rosé wine—Now, I am not a wine aficionado by any means. My poisons of choice include whiskey and craft beer. So I somehow missed this pink wine trend that is clogging the aisles of Whole Foods and taking over Target endcaps. Isn’t rosé wine for 21-year-old’s who don’t yet know how to pair wine and food? Someone enlighten me here…
Granny panties—The New York Times wrote about this trend a while back, instantly making it legit. But not understandable. Thongs serve a purpose other than to woo men—they’re comfortable and eliminate panty lines. I am all about some cute boy shorts, but “period panties?” No. They also pair well with high-waisted pants, which leads me to…
High-waisted mom jeans, rompers, crop tops—How can someone who practically lives in running clothes possibly judge fashion trends? I can’t. But I can be baffled by it! Why have we regressed to hairy toddlers from the 70s? Cut that shit out, y’all look stupid.
What new trends get your goat? Or, if you’re trendy, please tell me what the hell is going on here!