Nachos are a football Saturday staple. They’re cheesy and carb-y and great for sharing over beer while watching your favorite team beat the snot out of their opponent. That is, if you’re an Alabama fan.
Or you can eat an entire serving of nachos alone. Because, YOLO.
A few years ago when I started running longer distances, I adopted nachos as my fall football food mascot. I learned that there is nothing better than logging a long run and then going to watch the Crimson Tide while devouring ungodly amounts of tortilla chips and calories.
This season, I took my fandom to a whole new level. 100-miler training meant that I was always ready to inhale every nacho within my line of vision. And so I went about searching for the best nachos in the ‘Ham. Here’s what I found:
Moe’s—I read my friend Clair’s review of Moe’s nachos during Birmingham Restaurant Week and just had to try them. Sorry Clair, we’ll have to agree to disagree. They were a letdown! Potato chips instead of tortilla chips, nonexistent cheese, almost no meat. So basically, I ate a bag of chips. Go home Moe’s—you suck at nachos.
Buffalo Wild Wings—Silly me, I thought a sports-themed restaurant would have substantial nachos to feed a hungry fan. False. These were an abomination! Limp chips, tasteless fake cheese, almost no chili. Total waste of calories.
OverTime Cafe—I was skeptical about veggie nachos at a random pub—would they just be raw tomatoes and peppers in a swimming pool of cheese? No! These nachos were like a well-seasoned garden, covered in a rainbow of perfectly grilled vegetables. Teaches me for judging the nachos before seeing them.
Bryant Denny Stadium—I got the ultimate treat of feasting on nachos while watching Alabama football live, thanks to Rachel and Chris. These nachos were as simple as you get—chips, melted cheese, jalapeños. They weren’t bad, they just weren’t fancy. And so we’ll let Bryant Denny stick with what it knows best—football.
Dreamland BBQ—BBQ nachos? A football Saturday mashup made in heaven! Therefore I had high hopes for this meal. The chips were on point, but the neon orange fake cheese, fatty meat, and watery barbecue sauce made these a disappointment. Le sigh.
Homemade—I should have known all along—never trust anyone to do something that you know you can do better. And yes, I am a Type A perfectionist. I created a mouth-watering concoction of corn tortilla chips, gooey cheddar cheese, Amy’s spicy refried beans, Full Moon pulled pork, homemade guacamole, jalapeños, and olives. Yes. These hit the spot.
Now that the race is over and I’m not burning gazillions of calories to rationalize eating so poorly, my nacho search has ended. For this year, at least.
Moral of this nacho story? Stick with what you know you like, and make your own.
If you have any Birmingham nacho recommendations that I missed, please let me know! I’m happy to go test them out. You know, for the sake of the people.