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Getting Fit As F*ck for 2016

I’ve been taking my Pinhoti recovery seriously the past two months. Very seriously. I’ve been sleeping in, eating a lot, and barely running. Basically, I have become a professional sloth. Which is fine by me—I earned it, damn it!

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My Christmas dinner twins – Mac and Cheese

However, my clothes are getting tighter and I miss my running friends and sculpted thighs. So it’s time to get serious about training again. Plus, this is the week of Big Plans, and I have plenty of Big Plans for 2016.

As I’ve said before, I know zero about the gym. But I’m a Jersey girl, and us Jersey folk are meant to GTL—I’m already tan, I do my laundry frequently, so all that’s left is going to the gym.

Looking ahead for 2016, I want to get stronger for races and stay injury-free. Since I’m notorious for not following through on cross-training, I’ve enlisted some help.

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Squats will tighten my as…I mean, power me up mountains

I’m partnering with Gold’s Gym for the next six months to help me get fit as fuck. I’m going to meet with a trainer and have her develop a 12-week plan to get me looking like a bikini model less skinny fat ultra strong. I’ll also start taking Torque classes (a safer, more personalized CrossFit) with Lewis, a former NFL player who promises to make me suffer.

I took a BodyPump class before the holidays to wet my whistle on this whole group ex thing. It was fun! I used the lightest weights, but by the end of the class I was still skipping every other rep and trying to control my trembling arms.

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Watch me lift, watch me shake shake

And then on New Year’s Eve I ventured to Gold’s alone. Because New Year, New You, right? I was like a lost little puppy. I mean, I was really pathetic. I walked in there without a plan (or headphones, which is apparently a gym faux pas) and wandered aimlessly, doing five reps on one machine, ten on another. I eventually hid in the women’s section and furiously texted an SOS to Rachel for some kind of workout plan.

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“I don’t want to go work out in the main gym!”
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Row row row your boat…

So! My laughably disastrous gym workout is proof that A) I need to gym more often to strengthen non-running muscles B) I need major guidance and Gold’s will help.

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If you need me, I’ll likely be hiding in the sauna

Follow along as I get whipped into shape!

3 Comments

  • John G

    I used to laugh at my wife when she told me how much she lifted in Body Pump, calling her a big wimp. Then I went to a class. And swore the instructor had it in for me. Torturous, I didn’t go back for weeks. I dot make fun of her for that anymore.

  • Gigi

    Such a motivating and witty post! Thanks for sharing Tanya, you never cease to inspire and entertain me with your writings. I love how you keep it real.

    Keep ’em coming! 🙂

    ~Gigi

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