• clown sightings 2016, creepy clowns, clown dolls, clown toys
    Ramblings,  Rants

    Coup of the Clowns

    I’m putting a big fat disclaimer here before you step into my house of horrors—I do not condone the harassment of kids. If it were true, the story itself is sick and wrong. However… I love clowns. Well, one clown in particular. I also have the sickest sense of humor of anyone you’ll come across. So I’d be remiss if I let all the recent clown excitement pass with nary a comment. Clowns of the world, I’m cheering for you. For too long you have been feared and shunned and stereotyped and rejected and laughed at instead of laughed with. You try to bring joy into the world, and you’re met with hate.…

  • thigh gap jewelry, thigh gap, Anastasia date, tough baby names, A4 waist challenge, Samford Alpha Delta Pi

    5 Things I’m Currently Hating On

    Until yesterday’s post about Sasha, I haven’t blogged in a minute for no other reason than good, old-fashioned laziness. The words float around my head but never land—they’re essentially a flock of annoying horseflies. Like the song Sail by Awolnation says, “Blame it on the ADD.” But what better way to come out of a writing funk and sad mood than with a senseless Tanya Rant? You’ve all missed those, right? Right. And we all need a pissy party every now and then. Here goes. Alpha Delta Pi Racist Shirt—This happened in Birmingham last week. And then this week,  they announced this. So let’s dissect this from the beginning—can someone please explain to me…

  • Mercedes Marathon, Mercedes-Benz Marathon Weekend, urban trails, ultra road running, Mercedes race recap, running with your period, getting your period while running, diva cup
    Race Reports,  Rants,  Running

    My Bloody Valentine

    If yesterday’s blog post piqued your curiosity, welcome back! Here is the real story of my Mercedes (Ultra) Marathon. The race I will never forget, even when the 30 miles fade from memory and my medal loses its luster. Men and squeamish women who like to pretend that periods don’t exist, this is your one-minute warning to vacate the premises. X-out now. Now. …Now. Are you still here? I’m telling you, I’m not holding back with my descriptions. Get out. The remainder of the post contains a whole lot of this: Ok, you’ve been fairly warned. I am no longer responsible for any projectile vomiting that occurs. Since I have previously…

  • Adele, Adele is a stalker, creepy Adele songs

    Adele is a Stalker

    I’ve never been one to follow trends. I zig when everyone else zags. I wear white pants whenever I feel like it. I march to the beat of my own drum. I do not follow along with the latest trends or celebrity gossip. And I do not like Adele. Frankly, she scares me. While the rest of the world was bawling over “Hello,” I was sitting in my car scratching my head in confusion. This song isn’t romantic or sad—it’s creepy. When I mentioned this unpopular opinion to my friend Rachel, she immediately responded with, “well, Adele is a stalker.” And with those words, I realized why Adele has always…

  • FitBit, against FitBit, fitness trackers, health seekers, anti FitBit

    Dear Human, Love, FitBit

    Disclaimer—This post is tongue-in-cheek. If you are highly sensitive or will take offense and hate me forever, do not read further. Read this post instead! If you continue to read and think this post is about you, then you’re so vain. Dear Active Human, Sit down, we need to have a chat. Or on second thought, let’s talk and walk. I’m not sure you and I are the right fit anymore. I feel off. Wait, I am off. Our issues are definitely about you, not me. I remember the day you took me home. You were so excited—we were about to embark on a new life together. A healthier one full…

  • Fox & Friends leggings segment, leggings as pants, feminism, Fox & Friends

    No Fox & Friends, You Cannot Tell Me What to Wear

    I am at a loss for an introduction to this post. Watch this video and hurry on back. Did your blood pressure just skyrocket? Good. As it should have. Now let’s proceed. Fox & Friends truly outdid themselves this time. An “esteemed panel of fathers” took it upon themselves to judge whether women should be allowed to wear leggings in public? Really? I’m pretty sure that was just a group of filthy old men getting far too excited about women showing off their “lady parts” on live TV as they paraded around in some sort of perverted fashion show. I’m sorry, and leggings are inappropriate? No. The real kicker was the comment…