SELF tutu, BS Meter, runners wearing tutus, SELF magazine
Advertising/Branding,  Running

Breaking News—Tutus are Uncool

Stop what you’re doing and gather ’round—this is an important announcement. It is no longer acceptable to wear tutus. I repeat, no tutus. Ever.

Or anything else silly or ridiculous or “froufrou” for that matter. This includes running skirts, neon compression socks, superhero capes, ugly hats, colorful shoes, or sparkly outfits. All banned from races and other events where runners congregate.

SELF tutu, BS Meter, runners wearing tutus, SELF magazine
Color blocking is absolutely banned

The fashion police held an emergency meeting, not unlike the meeting of the new G7, and decided to crack down on the running community. Enough is enough. Running isn’t supposed to be fun. It’s about winning. The thrill of competition. Beating all your friends and being #1. A tutu only weighs you down. Causes chafing. Displays your immaturity.

SELF tutu, BS Meter, runners wearing tutus, SELF magazine, BUTS, Birmingham Ultra Trail Society
Look at this! See what tutus cause?

Have cancer? No excuse—no tutu for you. Feeling extra flashy? Best to leave your sparkly skirt at home where it belongs.

SELF tutu, BS Meter, runners wearing tutus, SELF magazine
Why don’t you just add in some camo while you’re at it – break all the rules

Thank goodness we have women’s magazines to set us on the straight and narrow. I’m glad that a publication like SELF exists to educate me on my health and well-being and fashion do’s and don’ts.

SELF tutu, BS Meter, runners wearing tutus, SELF magazine
Tutu AND a clown? Banned from races indefinitely.

Oh, wait. This isn’t right. There are no rules. Runners can wear whatever the hell they want in races. Running instantly transforms you into a badass and allows you to bend the “fashion rules.” Tutus are wildly popular and fun. They add whimsy. They can make a 5K seem approachable. They make men hilariously sexy.

Hey SELF, is your common sense on Spring Break 2014? Let’s mislead the girl in the photo as to how the picture will be used. Let’s not ask her why she wore the tutu. Let’s not bother to read her bib with “DIE TUMOR DIE” written on it. Let’s not address our mistake on social media. It’ll go away with time, right? Let’s continue with our regularly scheduled posts. And when we do apologize, let’s half-ass it. Let’s piss off our entire target market. You thought we were about empowering women and encouraging them to be healthy and active? That’s cute.

SELF tutu, BS Meter, runners wearing tutus, SELF magazine
Every. Single. Post. was highjacked by mobs of angry women

SELF fucked up. Big time. They shouldn’t have written about tutus, period. It wasn’t funny. It’s worse because they made fun of a cancer patient. But that was just an unfortunate accident—that’s not the real issue. They genuinely believe that tutus are ridiculous and meant to bash runners. And the editor, Lucy, apologizing a day later and only referencing Monika only adds fuel to the fire. If you’re going to say sorry, do it the right way. Mean it. SELF clearly didn’t have an emergency social media plan in place for when something like this occurs. #Win for me—I loved watching their Facebook page implode.

SELF tutu, BS Meter, runners wearing tutus, SELF magazine
You’re full of shit, Lucy

Runners are not people to fuck with. Female runners? Forget about it. You don’t bash something we love and are proud of and get away with it. SELF deserves every ounce of backlash they get. I wish there were a way to know how many people unsubscribe as a result of this disaster. It’d make me laugh.

Hats off to Monika for making tutus and donating money to Girls On The Run. She deserves credit for running a marathon while on chemo, not to be bashed by some arrogant assholes. And hooray to all the women who proudly rock tutus in races.

SELF tutu, BS Meter, runners wearing tutus, SELF magazine
Even boys wear tutus *gasp*

Do you know what’s BS, SELF? Name calling. And your magazine.

SELF tutu, BS Meter, runners wearing tutus, SELF magazine
This.

13 Comments

  • Mindy

    Get ’em sister. Can’t people just be nice? You hit the nail on the head. SELF is supposed to lift women up and encourage them… who cares if you’re running in a tutu or a freaking wife beater… if you’re doing something great and it’s not hurting anyone else, why on earth write a whole article about how terrible it is? Media sucks these days. Thanks for always writing the way you feel – love you!

  • Diane knight

    Wow what a dumb ass move n Self’s part. I will never buy their magazine again. Beautifully written about as usual Tanya!!

  • Tim

    Wowee! I hope I never annoy you! Completely agree with your sentiments though, albeit in a more English, reserved manner. They screwed up big time from ur account. I know men who wear tutus while running and they love it! Haven’t tried it myself, but I imagine the attention would spur.you on to run faster or longer or both!

    • Tanya

      Haha Tim, I doubt you will ever annoy me 🙂

      You should totally try wearing a tutu in one of your next races! You (and the crowd) will love it!

  • Emily Roberson McCoy

    I really hope this starts an even bigger tutu trend. 🙂 Was the Billy Elliot race a designated tutu run? We need more of those!

    • Tanya

      I know! I want to wear a tutu in my next race.

      That race was actually a 10 miler for the Ronald McDonald House. Billy Elliott on Broadway happened to be in town and got a bunch of runners to advertise the show. It was so much fun 🙂

  • Bre & Ree

    Absolutely, couldn’t agree more! How can they pretend to be a magazine about self empowerment and then turn around and make fun of a woman running in a marathon (her health just made it so much worse)? I too would love to see how many people have unsubscribed to them. A well written response on your part, and btw, I have a half coming up next month…I’m thinking a tutu is in order;)
    ~Bre

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