I had a scary blogging crisis—I didn’t want to write my post into my journal.
“Um. Your point is?” you ask? Really. Hear me out.
I was midway through copying an already-published post into my journal when the thought hit me that this is fucking insane. Why am I rewriting something that already exists online and will never be looked at again in written form?
I used to write posts out for editing purposes. I’d write them on scrap paper, edit and recopy them into my journal, and then type them out for my blog. But lately, I’ve been skipping the journal step and going straight from scrap to hitting “publish.” The result though is that now I’m missing posts in my journal, and it’s stressing me out! Dumb, right?
Is it that I never connected to this journal like I did with my red one from last year? It’ll sound absurd to those who don’t understand, but those who “get it” will nod in agreement. A writer needs the right tools to feel good about her work. A sharpened pencil, a fresh sheet of paper, a charged laptop in a cozy coffee shop, a typewriter (I kind of really want one).
My 2014 journal is just…meh. She’s a bit too tall, her pages are too thin and white, and I haven’t been in a sparkly mood the entire year. To put it another way, I hate her. Good riddance!
Or am I just growing more confident as a writer? Do I no longer need the security blanket of telling my journal about my post before it gets published? Am I more comfortable with what I have to say?
In the grand scheme of things, this “crisis” is nothing. A thought I’m likely wasting way too much time on. But I’ve always found peace in the physical act of writing, so this is throwing me for a loop. Sigh.